There was a time I wanted a life that looked good.
A life that was fun, full, and free.
I used to daydream about weekend getaways, spontaneous trips, cute cafés, and checking off one bucket list item after another.
I wanted to try every new restaurant.
Dress up. Take photos.
Vacation every chance I could.
That was my idea of joy—of living well.
But now… I want something different.
I crave something deeper.
I enjoy home-cooked meals.
The kind my husband and I prepare together in our tiny kitchen.
The kind that’s seasoned with laughter, garlic, and kisses between stirs.
The things I used to need to feel satisfied?
I don’t miss them anymore.
Not in the way I thought I would.
My idea of “fun” is different now.
It’s watching a youth open their Bible without being told.
It’s hearing a child recite a memory verse I helped them learn.
It’s seeing a once-shy kid utter my name in their prayers.
It’s decorating the church for an event we’re all excited about.
It’s game days where no one feels left out.
It’s purpose. It’s belonging. It’s joy that doesn’t fade when the trip ends or the weekend is over.
I never expected my heart to change this much
But I also never expected to love life this much.
A life of purpose doesn’t always look impressive.
Sometimes it looks like small tasks.
Sometimes it means investing time, energy, and heart into things that don’t give you instant results.
But there’s something about living for something eternal
—Someone eternal—
that gives every little thing weight and worth.
I used to want a picture-perfect life
Now, I want a fruitful one.
One that gives God glory in the quiet places.
One that loves people deeply.
One that lays down its preferences for something better.
I don’t have the life I once planned.
But now I see—
I was never meant to settle for a life of pleasure.
I was always made for a life of purpose.
Have your desires ever changed in ways you didn’t expect?
Maybe you used to long for something that doesn’t hold your heart the same way anymore.
Maybe God is slowly giving you new dreams.
If you’re in that in-between space, you’re not alone. And I can attest, what’s ahead is worth it.
